a response to why we don't date anymore
The article “Why We Don’t Date Anymore: A Man’s Perspective” sparked a wide variety of reactions across the digital landscape.
The main argument in this article is that “conventional dating has become unnecessary” and that it is too much work for men. It discredits the old-fashioned romantic ways of dating because, as the author states, while women get to sit back and relax men are left “to do ALL of the work.” Men would rather watch Netflix with women rather than go through all the “trouble” of a date because there’s a “ slight chance she won’t be worth that sort of investment.“ If he knows that he’s not interested, then “why waste [the] money and time?” The article further explains that the only reason to ask out a girl on a real date is if the guy “like[s] her beyond her looks.”
I understand the ground on which this article stands. Going out on dates should be special. Guys don’t want to take out just anyone because of the fact that it costs money and takes time. As broke and busy college students, time and money seem to be two things absent in our lives. We don’t have these things for ourselves, so giving them away to someone else is a big deal.
It’s the stage before dating, the “getting to know you” stage that this article portrays in a controversial way. In my opinion, the “Hang Out and Watch Netflix Method” as the article refers to it, is not a man’s perspective. This is a boy’s perspective.
I do not mean this offensively. This kind of behavior is a testament to the true intentions of this sad hook-up culture that we have accidentally created. The fact of the matter is, sitting in a dark room with a female staring at a screen is an immature way to get to know someone. In fact, it’s not a way to get to know someone at all. A man seeks interaction, a boy seeks action. A man is looking to fall, a boy is looking for fun. A man seeks connection, a boy seeks erection... I’m gonna stop because I’ve already taken it too far. Regardless, the inability to see this phenomenon merely reflects a lack of maturity.
We are all at fault here. The difference between a girl who prefers "The Netflix Method" and a girl who actually wants to know you is the difference between the "dateable girl", and the "do-able girl". I personally think the most valid statement in the article is:
“If, starting today, no girl accepted an invite to just hangout and chill, the guys might step their game up.”
Ding ding ding! Ladies, it is time to stop giving away instant satisfaction. And guys, it is time to stop asking for it. It is understandable–most people don't want to go from being just friends to being in a relationship. It's a far jump and it takes time to get to know someone. Fortunately, there are solutions that fall between "The Netflix Method" and going out on a real date: hang out after class., grab coffee, go to Chipotle, and please god, do not slide into my DM’S. Seriously. Don’t do that. Hint: The Chipotle Method is proven 95% successful. (Although this statistic holds no valid scientific grounds, it’s probably true #guac). My point is, there are casual ways to get to know someone that are more polite than “I want to get in your pants” and not as extreme as “I love you”. A spontaneous meal or daytime activity involving actual face-to-face interaction will not kill us. Also, it’s 2015 and chances are the girl will offer to pay for her food (I do every time). A foundation of respect stands sturdier than a foundation of Netflix. Getting to know someone before you start dating is practical and casual, and there are healthy ways to do so. At the end of the day, dating is only as big of a deal as we make it.
See original post here.